Apparently I was imprinted with a bunch of bad ideas about myself and my relationship to the world subconsciously when I was very impressionable. The basic "symptoms" of the disorder are:
- has a grandiose sense of self-importance
- is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
- believes that he or she is "special" and unique
- requires excessive admiration
- has a sense of entitlement
- is interpersonally exploitative
- lacks empathy
- is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
- shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
To console myself I looked for an online support group for narcissists but all I found was hatred. I found diatribes against people with narcissistic personality disorder, heart-wrenching tales of innocent people destroyed emotionally by narcissistic lovers, and useful instructions on how to identify and avoid narcissists.
The prognosis is grim. Narcissism is usually incurable. That is because the disorder doesn't allow for its own existence. Most narcissists will never be able to pierce the wall of their own narcissism. I have a small advantage there. My abuse of psychedelic drugs ten, or so, years ago helped jar my world view enough to allow for this crushing realization to leak in over time.
Hopefully this blog will help me get these harmful constructs out in the open so I can dismantle them.
We'll see.
No comments:
Post a Comment