This blog will fail. It may have already. At some point the entries will drop off. The period between them growing, until finally it will just sit gathering eDust®.
The reason? My complex system of expectations. They are a trap from which no endeavor can escape.
If historical trends hold, I will, consumed with manic energy, throw myself into this blog. I will develop absurd expectations that can't possibly be achieved.
As I begin to fall short of these results, self-loathing and fear will begin to nudge me. My self-directed disdain for not living up to my expectations, and my fear of being judged and found wanting will form a fog that will descend on my brain, obscuring reality.
So, the tool I am trying to use to help repair my mind will be acted upon and destroyed.
Hammer into anvil.
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yeah, sure. but still...
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