happy new year

We had a good time at John and Catherine's New Year's party Wed/Thurs. I drank too much as planned. Surprisingly I was, with a couple of exceptions, able to keep from hurting anyone's feelings, raising embarrassing topics, or offering too much information. Prior to the party I put together a loose list of things I should not talk about and in most cases was able to keep to it.

The hardest topic to sit on was my narcissism and this blog. I told Nathan and Pat about the blog and invited them to read it. I also told Pat and John about the narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis. Predictably John's response was negative. Not malicious, but negative. He pointed out that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is currently in vogue.

I also talked about the Talisker Scotch that I brought until I started to feel like I was begging for approval. The memory of that realization has lodged itself into the hopper and is currently running on an endless shame loop.

I did some reminiscing with Jim that might have been in poor taste. I don't think it upset him though.

Otherwise I think it went very well, and I had a lot of fun. It helped that Jen and I had a fight before the party, so there was no tension between us. At least I didn't feel any tension. To call it a fight isn't really fair to Jen though. It was more like: I acted like a jerk, she got defensive, I got defensive, she got upset, I felt bad and apologized, she explained how I hurt her feelings, I understood where she was coming from, and we made up. Maybe that is a fight. I don't know.

New Years day and today I'm dealing with the basic brain chemistry equilibrium issues that occur after a bender. Everything is skewed a little bit sad and I feel like I'm working without a net. It is getting better though.